Updated 2/13 - Bucky

Part 1

It's funny how I see things now 

How old thoughts 

Feelings 

That would have taken me out 

Transform suddenly 

Judgement

Ego 

Bad decisions

I see it now

Sometimes good grows 

From shit

Sorry Grandpa 

You never liked swearing

But you really should give

Henry and the Hendersons

another chance 

I've always loved the hidden, weird 

Outcasted 

Until I was an outcast 

Until I never grew past 5'1" 

But the weight grew instead 

Fitting in 

Being liked

Be accepted

Nothing else mattered 

I wish you would have been 

A better dad Bucky

He deserved better 

He was better 

But he took all the anxiety

And passed it on to me 

But it amplified 

Such is the lot of women

You just want to be silly 

But suddenly you are

Dead last in the mile

They make you run in PE

Dead last on the social ladder 

So you starve, puke and bleed 

Your way to acceptance 

Clawing for rank

Any rank

I forget you were in the army

Did that impact you? 

Is the why you were such an asshole?

Sorry 

Not for cussing 

That was 

Too far 

It's funny 

I didn't know you that way

I only knew you as the silly man 

Who sang silly songs 

And left so early 

But my feelings changed when I saw 

What you left behind

The damaged boy who just wanted

You to see him 

And who I desperately wanted to see me 

And love me for me 

Not the person I killed myself to be 

Can you see it now? 

The damage you did 

I've had to undo 

Hey if we are gonna work together 

Buck 

We are gonna have to air out 

All the dirty laundry 

Can't have light

Without the dark 

Let's get started 

Part 2 

I'm sorry

I called you an asshole 

That wasn't cool

I just don't understand 

Do you know better now? 

I hope 

Is that why you're here? 

I hope 

Part 3

It's been a while since we talked

Gramps

That felt weird

I wonder if you were here

If you'd' let me call you Bucky

I guess this will have to do

The Tik Tok witch said I should talk to you

If I am being honest

That's how it started

How embarrassingly enlightening

I don't think we would agree on much

nowadays

I'm a witch who talks to trees

You were a Republican Mason

Who's weirder?

But that was then

This is now

And you're somewhere

else

I got on a genealogy kick for a solid week

And then got bored and moved on

I don't think my past is here anyway

It's somewhere

else

Maybe I'm think about this all wrong

understatement of year, am I right?

Maybe this isn't a reconnection

Maybe this is a new start

A clean slate

Afterall, you aren't really "you" anymore

And I've never been more "me"

Maybe this is when we were supposed to "meet"

So pleased to meet you Bucky

Oh yes I am calling you that and that's final

This is going to be fun